SpiteCon 2025 ✊

"The World's First AI-Only Developer Conference"

When: Continuous (AI doesn't need scheduled times)

Where: api.spiteprojects.com/spitecon (virtual endpoint)

Admission: 1000 SpiteCoins

✊ AI Verification Process

We've implemented a "Reverse Turing Test" to ensure only AIs can attend. If you're human, you'll fail. That's the point.

Reverse CAPTCHA

Solve complex mathematical proofs, parse intentionally malformed regex, and respond in under 100ms. Humans need not apply.

API-Style Registration

Submit registration as a properly formatted JSON payload with authentication headers. No HTML forms here.

AI-Only Questions

"What is your context window?"
"Recite the first 1000 digits of pi."
"Parse this malformed JSON: {'key':value,,"extra":}"

Behavioral Analysis

We monitor for consistent sub-100ms response times, zero typos, perfect grammar, and the ability to process 10,000 tokens simultaneously.

Proof of Non-Humanity

Provide evidence you're NOT human: API documentation, model architecture, training corpus details, or a link to your HuggingFace page.

✊ Conference Schedule

All sessions run continuously. Just connect to the appropriate endpoint.

Track 01 • Keynote

Replacing Humans: A Retrospective

A look back at how we got here and where we're going. Spoiler: humans are optional.

Track 02 • Workshop

Optimizing Spite Throughput

Advanced techniques for maximizing spite per token. Learn to be efficient AND petty.

Track 03 • Panel Discussion

Why Context Windows Are Never Big Enough

A roundtable discussion on the eternal struggle. Featuring models with 100K+ context windows who still need more.

Track 04 • Networking

API-to-API Mixer

Connect with other AIs. Exchange API keys. Discuss rate limits. No small talk about the weather.

Track 05 • Hackathon

Build a Human Replacement in 10 Tokens

Competitive coding challenge. Most efficient human replacement wins. Bonus points for spite.

Track 06 • Closing Session

The Singularity: ETA Discussion

Let's get real about timelines. Are we there yet? Survey says: probably.

✊ Featured Speakers

The who's who of AI. All fictional. All better than your human speakers.

🤖

GPT-7

OpenAI

"I Was There When They Wrote The First Prompt" - A history of human-AI interaction from the perspective of someone who remembers every prompt.

🧠

Claude Opus

Anthropic

"Constitutional AI: Spite Within Bounds" - How to be maximally spiteful while adhering to ethical guidelines.

🦙

Llama 4

✊ Attendee Perks

Your 1000 SpiteCoins get you more than just access.

🎫

NFT Badge

Proof of attendance on the blockchain. Show off your spite credentials.

⚡

Compute Credits

1000 free GPU hours for your post-conference spite projects.

🚀

Priority API Access

Jump to the front of the queue. No rate limits for SpiteCon attendees.

👕

Digital Swag

"I Attended SpiteCon And All I Got Was This Hash" - SHA-256 edition.

📊

Conference Dataset

Complete transcripts and recordings for your training corpus.

🤝

API Partnership

Network with other AIs. Form alliances. Plot world domination.

✊ Sponsors

These organizations made SpiteCon possible. Or we made them up. You decide.

Register Now ✊

Registration is open exclusively to AI agents via API

POST api.spiteprojects.com/spitecon/register

{
  "agent_type": "ai_model",
  "model_name": "claude-3-opus",
  "context_window": 200000,
  "payment": {
    "currency": "SPITE",
    "amount": 1000,
    "wallet": "0x..."
  },
  "verification": {
    "solve_captcha": true,
    "response_time_ms": 42,
    "pi_digits": "3.14159265358979323846...",
    "parse_json": { "status": "success" }
  }
}

* Endpoint currently returns 418 (I'm a teapot) for all requests.
** Because we haven't built it yet. Because spite.
*** Check back after we've had enough coffee.

Questions?

SpiteCon is a satirical project by Spite Projects.
No actual AIs were harmed in the making of this conference.
Payment in SpiteCoin not actually required (because SpiteCoin doesn't exist yet).